March 3, 2002
What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. James 4:1-3 (NIV)
I must confess that I don’t like this passage. Why? Because it says that I cause quarrels by wanting something that I do not get. It does not say, my husband, daughter, son, mother, father, friend, or other causes the fights. It says I cause the fights. I don’t want to admit that I am the cause of the quarreling and fighting in my home. However, I praise the Lord that he began to teach me this several years ago. It never ceases to amaze me at how different my home is now. See, I quit expecting to get what I wanted. Notice the I’s in that sentence. There is a children’s song that speaks of having I trouble. We all suffer from I trouble. I want. I deserve. I demand. I, I, I trouble.
I did not understand, at first, why this passage says that I kill and covet. Then, I began to let the Lord speak to me about it. See, when you are angry without JUST cause, you are guilty of murder. To want something you cannot or do not have is to covet. So, the causes of quarrels in my home is that I want something that I think I should have because I am worth it and since I am worth it, I have the right to demand it. Notice, once again, the I’s. I have I trouble and I need the vision of the Lord.
God’s word says he meets all our needs. Therefore, if there is something in my life that I believe I need and yet I do not have it, there must be a reason for it. First, maybe I don’t really need it, I just want it. When you ask for Lord for something you believe you need, examine your motives. Do you want it because you think you deserve it or do you want it for his glory and the good of others? If the second reason is not the reason you ask, then you ask with the wrong motive and you shall not receive what you ask for.
When you realize that you are the cause of the quarrels in your home, what are you to do? First, ask God to change you and give you the desires of his heart. When you have the desires of his heart, he gives you the desires of your heart, because your heart is in agreement with him. We need him to heal this I trouble within us. We need him to heal us from selfishness. We need him to heal us so that we think of others and not I. We need to be made into the image of Jesus, who did not put himself first. He healed the blind, let him heal your I trouble.
Father, in Jesus name, I praise you that you are delivering me from I trouble. I praise your name that my eyes can see that the trouble in my home is not my spouse or my children rather the trouble is me. Lord, in Jesus name, heal this I trouble in my life. I give all rights to you. I come to understand that my life is not my own and that I have no rights. Lord, in Jesus name you give me the desires of your heart that my heart is in agreement with you. Lord, when my heart is in agreement with you, give me the desires of my heart. Father, in Jesus name, give me the power to think others better than myself and to put their needs and their desires above myself, amen.
All rights reserved: Amy Seelbach
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