Welcome to this website
Founded in 2001 with lots of thoughts
Yes lots of consideration and anticipation
In what to do next
Oh how hard I prayed, and still try to get out of this one
Dear Friend
Thank you for visiting this website. Before I explain what I do I would firstly like to tell you a bit about myself.
I am a missionary that is self-supported and decided to build websites for an income (Have to help the poor---myself included---you been there too huh?).
Before this new ministry venture I helped those in need and volunteer until I hurt so bad that every time someone called I hid behind my wardrobe.
Why I now fear telephones only God knows. Just joking I still do volunteer work everyday as God allows me.
If it weren't for God I could be watching TV, lie around and over eat, insult my friends and neighbours, aggravate my pets---aaaah the good times---"NO"----"Ok God only joking----Really I am---ow that hurt."
Enough about me---"about time you say?"
"Ok then so you want to know more-never happy huh?"
I have visited many churches and ministries and whilst talking to missionaries from other countries I realised that websites could really help.
You asked how?
You are so great, thank you for asking.
Well with my limited IQ and abilities here goes. To some of you I am not leaving I am just starting to explain my new ministry. The internet allows you to do things like have web pages and send e-mail and find all kinds of cool stuff---there really is great stuff!!!
There are all kinds of bible studies and resources available for churches and for you too---Yes there is.
Ok, now you have me talking to myself again. Aaah---keep me in prayer.
A friend argued with me and it went like this. There is great stuff on the internet (My words). Is not (His words). Is too (mine). Is not(His) Is too (mine). Well everything went down hill from there.
Ok, I am fine now. This is what a website can do for you.
You can post bible studies, sermons and all kinds of info about your ministry. How does this help?
Why all the questions---why I ask?
I have had missionaries ask me if they could post pictures on their websites while they are away and I said, "yes." They wanted to show the world and family their ministry and friends and also places they have been to. Churches want to allow their congregation to also keep on top of church events.
This is some of the things you can do with a website:
Post messages.
Post a map to your church.
Post your churches info (Service times etc). New people moving to your town might like that.
Post a church calendar.
Post your sermons.
Insult each other---did I write this---major headache coming on.
I mean post poems, short stories, inspirations and more for all to read.
You could post info on your GREAT PASTOR-should have not highlighted that---too late. I'll just leave this for now. Ok, there is lots more that you can do.
Questions from admirers.
Well I would like a website and do not know anything about websites?
I have been on the internet many times but do not know how to build one.
We looked into having one built but they want so much money and we have a poor ministry.
Can you build one for us, and if so how much will you charge us?
Jesus loves u man----hey man build one for us man---huh---common man-its cool-huh---I'm your bud man. (Ok that was an old friends request).
Stop the voices man my head hurts---all the questions aaah.
After ten, 400 milligram aspirins, I'm ok---I think.
Right here goes the answers.
(a voice)Where are they going?
(Me) Keep quiet voices.
(Me again) Thank you Jesus
"There are two ways that I charge. The one is my way and the other also my way---thought I would say your way huh?" One is free and the other is by a love offering. In some cases I will charge (if it is for an business or you like giving money away). "Ok so I also need to eat---sounds silly huh?"
"Colin eats---you don't say?"
"How do we get the free one----as the price is about right?"
I really do not like this question!!!! Really.
Ok this is a long and difficult process so please pay attention---yes you too.
What you need to do is call a general meeting and after a great dinner with thanks giving been given to God, discuss amongst yourselves if you want a website or not. If you decide that you want a website then you need to have another meeting at a great restaurant on the pastors expense and discuss what you want on it. (For those of you---what you want on your web site I ask).
Now you call another meeting at the in laws home and there you decide after an large barbecue at their expense on how you want to contact me.
Another way is to just send me an e-mail or call me and I will evaluate your request. I will also tell you what you need.
Ok-so your head also hurts now?
Ok I am only joking. I enjoy life so much and having clean fun is OK. God has a sense of humour and loves us. I am perfectly normal as you will see when you call me---hear me---what ever.
Send me an e-mail to the address below---ok---so you are lazy. Just click the big button that says TOUCH ME at the bottom of this page and send me an e-mail.
Yes that BIG one---it will all be ok---I promise.
Do you see it?
You embarrass me------.
Family, Jesus loves you and so do I, and my prayers go out for you and all who love God.
May we win the lost for Jesus who paid a price for us all---ok I feel a sermon coming on so I better stop while I am ahead.
From your servant in Christ and fellow believer. Please note that there is only one L in my name.
COLIN
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Oh and my cat says HI---Theres those voices again---does your cat talk French?
Merlin (I am responding to my cat not you) do you really speak French----ok now I speak French----Joking. I will introduce you to the neighbour's dog---you think I will not?
SORRY---just e-mail me or call me or send a letter---what ever---do it now----stop staring---thank you.
If you want to contact me via e-mail Send your request here
My telephone number and address is at the bottom of the page as well.
If you are not saved and want to be saved click this button below called GOD IS LOVE and you will be saved.
INSTANT SALVATION HERE
Ok so nothing happened---huh? You're still here. No great light or amazing feelings. The earth did not move and you are still here. You do not feel different. God is not talking to you yet? Your office has not lit up yet? You still speak your native language? You are still sitting in front of your computer. You are still paranoid because you might be going to anywhere but heaven---maybe---unsure. You are disappointed and ready to hide under the bed.
Ok, due to your response you are most probably unsure of your salvation or you are in need of salvation---or you are confused and scared to meet God.
Well help is on the way.
Ok for the real answer click here.
THE TRUTH BUTTON
Still clicking away huh?
My compassion for you and Gods rebuke has increased. Here is what you do.
You can go to an Christian ministry and ask for help or you can just quickly do this then go find a Christian pastor.
Close your eyes and recite this or if your memory is like mine read this out aloud and believe what you read with all your heart.
Now call on God by saying this---"God." Ok now you have his attention.
Now tell God how bad you feel about all the bad things that you do and ask God to forgive you.
Ok---I'm waiting and do not forget the ugly stuff too.
Now Jesus died for your sins and was raised from the dead. So due to this in believing that He died for your sins and was raised from the dead---OK---who ever believes this and acknowledges this will be saved. Now say this in prayer. You might want to close your eyes but if your memory is like mine read this out.
Why must I do this?
"Jesus said that if you confess with your mouth that He died for your sins and if you believe that He was raised from the dead and you confess this with your mouth and believe this in your heart you will be saved." (John 3:16). Really you will---will too---ok here I go again.
Say it like this----"Lord God I believe that Jesus died for my sins and You raised Him (Jesus) from the dead. Lord I believe this with all my heart although I do not know you or Jesus I am trusting you."
Ok---you did all right.
Now you need to invite Jesus into your heart. How you ask?
Like this---"Jesus please come into my heart and help me to do as you want."
Great and well done, but you are not finished yet.
Now Jesus says that what we ask in His name will be given to us. So end all your prayers with this-"I ask this in Jesus name Amen." (Amen means let it be true).
Now find a Christian church, get hold of a good bible and then go to the church and read your bible. Stop sinning and pray as often as possible.
Well if you did this you are now my family and I love you---not like that---it is a brotherly love, and remember no matter what bad things you did GOD will forgive you if you are sincere when you talk to him. No sin is too big for God to forgive. Trust me---yes God too---trust Him more than me---Please.
Well---you can pray again if you like---you can pray all day if you want-really you can.
I am so happy to be your brother---kind of tingles---teehee.
Send me your prayer request here
Write what ever you want and I will forward the request to thousands of people.