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~ We are all children of the most High. ~
Psalm 82:6
~ Inner Healing ~
All Out of Love
Sequencer Unknown
- To be Rooted in Love -
All people have experienced childhood hurts, albeit some more than others. None-the-less, we have all had them. Whether it is a lack of children's developmental skills, a lack of adults recognizing the need to help them, or both; childhood hurts do not go away on their own. We can stifle those wounds at times, try to convince the perpetrator of their error, exhaust ourselves emotionally, cry a spell and think it is better now. But, it isn't.
We have all heard it said of children, "They'll get over it." In a little while, they will be playing again; which leads us to believe that statement is true. But, it isn't. We could be 90 years old and still not have gotten over it; which is sure to be relived, again and again, as minds regress.
If you happen to be in the grocery store, see a child accidentally cause an apple to drop to the floor (and see that child get smacked, or even if you do not) and it brings back a reminder in your childhood ... that hurt is still there. Sometimes, trigger words will bring back a memory. Other times, it will be an event. But, any and every time the same memory is triggered 'more than once' (be it months or years apart), that wound is still there.
As adults, we can often find understanding for other's failures; they were having a bad day, they may not have fully understood the significance of their error, or just anything. And even when we canot otherwise reason, we come to learn the importance of forgiving 'for our own benefit'.
However, when children are wounded, most often, adults do not help them to understand. They may not have offered a reassuring hug that lets that child know they are still loved. Adults probably did not teach that child in the area of praying for our enemies and they may not have defended them at all.
Often times, adults were just ignorant of the child's spiritual need. But many times, too, adults did not treat children with the same respect as they would others. Physical and verbal lashings often gave blows to children when they were not even the culprit. Then, there were those occasions where adults had no business rearing children at all.
Moses was hid from Pharaoh. Jesus was kept from Herod. Evil seeks to destroy the child and that includes us, too. We were wounded, as a child, and that 'child within' still hurts as deeply as the day the event occurred; which is one reason why we try blame, anger, and about everything else first.
We can not change the past. Neither can we change others. However, we can change what becomes of us now. But, before we can begin a healthy journey, we have to rid ourselves of all that extra baggage; all that sorrow, anger, and rage that sometimes even physically binds us.
Maybe they neither want or deserve forgiveness. Or, maybe, they are still blinded in their error. None-the-less, we have been made free from the sins of our fathers and it is up to us to take hold of that freedom.
Get out pen and paper, if you will. Make a list of every hurt that comes to mind. It is alright if you do not remember everything. Just write down what you do. You can even ask God to help you remember. (1. Billy stole my watch. 2. Aunt Jane lied about me. 3. Dad did not come to my game, when he promised.)
Sure, you may have gotten blind sided with a baseball bat. But, children have such tender and trusting hearts that the little things count, too. Do not be surprised if your first list is really long. But if not, what you have will be fine. Then, once your list is finished, put it aside for a bit.
Next, consider what your relationship with God has been like. Do you hold Him at arm's length, like your dad did you? Maybe you try not to annoy God with little things, waiting until something becomes insurmountable before you ask for help. Perhaps you envision God as a devil with a whip, just waiting for you to mess up. As is often the case, the kind of relationship we have with our earthly father is the same way we perceive God; making it even more important to be free of wounds, once and for all, so we can enjoy the relationship with God that He has always intended.
No matter how great one's father was or is, God is even greater. He is the most ultimately, supremely, perfect Father that ever was, is, or ever will be. He wants to be your everything! If you can envision what your view of a perfect father might be, consider that God is 'all that' and even more!
So, if you will, let's remember the child, now. "Daddy God, I have a boo, boo. Can you make it better?" Oh, yes, He can! Envision Daddy God, the most perfect Father ever, sitting in a rocking chair. You run to Him with a need, like little ones often do. He picks you up, sets you in His lap, kisses the wound, holds and rocks you, and caresses you (as any loving father should) until all is well. Oh, what joy is found in the arms of Daddy's love!
Ok, now that we have a glimpse of God, as our Heavenly Father, consider picking one item on your list (only one) and bringing Him a boo, boo. And, it is ok to start with one that was a lesser hurt.
When wounded as adults, we can reason and find resolve; being an adult. However, when the inner child is wounded, it is the child that needs to be healed.
Once you have made your selection and found a private place, to be undisturbed, go back in time. How old are you, 4, 8, a teen? Remember what happened and how it felt.
The first time, you might not be comfortable running into Daddy's arms. That is ok as God understands. Just envision Daddy God in His rocking chair, walk up to Him and climb into His lap. Then, begin telling Him what happened.
If you sat in someone else's lap, you would not expect them to know the problem unless you verbalized it. So, say the words out loud. Yes, God already knows everything you think and feel. But, it is important for you to let the feelings out, so they will no longer be bottled up inside you. Release them. Tell God what happened, how it made you feel, why it hurts so much, and anything else that comes to mind. Hug God's neck, feel free to cry, and let Him rock you for however long you need. When another thought comes to mind, say it out loud, too. Stay until all emotions are spent, as you do not want them anymore.
Then, before you leave God's presence, verbally try to understand and reason (to whatever extent you can) why this person might have failed you; albeit their ignorance, impatience, fear, or what ... recognizing that the wound was usually not intentional, to hurt you. Then, ask God to help you forgive them and tell God you forgive them. Again, say the words out loud.
In minor offences, this exercise may only need done once per incident. But, should the memory be triggered again, go back to God (using this tool) that the wound will be healed 'deeper and deeper' until it is totally gone.
Then, on another day, pick something else on your list. And, when your list is finally through, ask God to bring to remembrance anything else that should be added to the list.
And, once you realize 'whatever happened to you also happened to those who wounded you' (only their experiences were likely even worse), you will find less reason to be angry at victims who never overcame the wounds of their past and never found a better way to live. Then, you can choose to be the difference (to welcome your responsibility in stopping the chain of emotional or physical abuse) 'for the next generation' by getting the inner healing you need.
With each step in the process of inner healing, you will be replacing darkness with light (bringing hope to your situation) and placing God's awesome love where it should have been all along. He is a most awesome Father! Isn't it about time you got to know your Daddy? |
A Child Needs ...
We are products of our environment, it is said,
And, from birth through life, we are variously led.
From infancy to childhood, others are in charge.
When you are little, others seem rather large.
A child needs benevolent and respectful care
As well as being taught to love and play fair.
If a child is taught to respect God and others,
He will love himself and, likewise, his brothers.
Whether our childhood was nurturing or not
Comes the time when we must deal with our lot.
The decisions we make will color our future
And show what we're made of, as we mature.
If victory is to be won, it's upon God we trust.
Knowing, loving, and 'serving Him well' we must.
Getting through life is hard enough, we all know.
Traveling with the Lord is the only sure way to go.
Guide the little ones in the ways of the Lord
So they, too, will praise Him and, to Him, accord
All Honor, All Glory, and All Adoration;
Hearts full of joy and expectation
Toward the day of eternal jubilation
And infinite exaltation.
© 2008 by Mel Patterson
Love yourself enough
to let God love you,
then love others like that!
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