It is dedicated to my parents who were tragically killed on 14 April 1978

There were a lot of things I wanted to say. Many things they missed out on. Marriages, births, birthdays and the pleasure of seeing their children grow up. I miss you both, but I know one truth.

God has been a Father to the fatherless. And he never left us

It has been 25 years since my parents died. Recently I gave my testimony at a bible study. For the first time in public I admitted the truth about my parent's "accident". My mother took her own life and along with that she took my father's life.

My father was not a physically abusive man. He was however emotionally abusive to my mother. He was cruel to her and she never felt very good about herself. I don't remember much about him. What I do remember though was how he used to put my mother down. I remember her tears and her saying listen to your father he knows what is right. For many years I held him on a pedestal. I was daddy's little girl. So for me to think of him as the cause of my mother's sadness was too much to bear.

It was easier for me to be angry at my mother.

I asked and I asked how could this happen. And when I too felt so lost with my life that I would rather be dead I wondered why?

I am no longer angry at my mother or my father. I have spent most of my adult life trying to understand why? but maybe the answer will never come but for the first time I discover the truth about the following verse

EVERYTHING HAS A TIME

To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born
And a time to die
A time to plant,
And a time to pluck what is planted;
A time to kill,
And a time to heal;
A time to break down
And a time to build up;
A time to weep,
And a time to laugh,
A time to mourn,
And a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones,
And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace,
And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to gain,
And a time to lose;
A time to keep,
And a time to throw away;
A time to tear,
And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence,
And a time to speak;
A time to love,
And a time to hate;
A time of war,
And a time of peace

Ecclesiastics 3: 1-8 NKJ version

I loved my parents I treasured the time I had with them. Both of them had qualities which they instilled in me. Their marriage wasn't happy and my father emotionally abused my mother. But they both loved me. I thank God everyday for the time I spent with them, and I thank God for helping me heal from the hurt.