If a marriage is to grow
strong and full like a
bountiful oak tree, it
must go through its own
times and seasons!
A Time To Be Born
This is a season of Eden-like-love...the idealized
wonderfully romantic time when our affections
for each other are as fresh as a newborn baby.
A Time To Die
There comes a time to die to our unrealistic fantasies
...like the one about having, or being, the perfect
mate. A necessary loss...a loss that has to occur
before mature love can begin.
A Time To Plant
As love matures, most couples begin to put down roots,
make a home and begin a family. There comes a
season of settling down.
A Time To Uproot
As the young family gets settled, a notice may arrive
signaling that it's time to start all over. Move,
start a new job, face new challenges. Yet these
times of up-rooting and re-settling often produce
a "you-and-me-against-the-world" kind of feeling
in a marriage. They can be adventurous seasons,
bringing us closer together as a family unit.
A Time To Kill
No, not each other. (Though there may be times
when we're tempted!) There often comes a season of
reflection...a concentrated period of time when we
have to ask God to destroy sinful patterns that
have crept into our marriages. (Proverbs 27:17)
says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens
another." One reason God places us together is to
unveil each other's blind spots...self-defeating
and harmful ways of reacting. This season is perhaps
the most painful of all; it gets awfully hot when iron
is at the task of sharpening iron.
A Time To Heal
After having gone through the refining fire of
realizing our own brokenness, couples need a season
of healing, a time to cool off and comfort one
another. Think of it as becoming each other's
aloe vera gel.
A Time To Tear Down
There may be times when your partner may have to
help you "tear down" a wall of pride or self-
importance. Yes the one who knows you best, may call
you on those pesky, subtle sins that others let you
get away with.
A Time To Build
On the other hand, when your self-esteem has been
bruised by the whole world, that mate, remember
the one who knows you best, will stand by your
side and make it all better again, as they build
you up.
A Time To Weep
A couple can never fully understand the concept
of "becoming one" until they have wept together
in a time of deep sorrow.
A Time To Laugh
Also a couple cannot fully understand the concept
of being one until they have laughed so hard they
fell off the bed together.
A Time To Mourn
During days of numbing sadness, after the weeping,
there is a season when the best gift you have
to offer each other is a hand to hold, a shoulder
to lean on.
A Time To Dance
A season of festivity...when that pleasure of being
in love begins to bubble up and overflow...when your
husband may invite you into his arms for a polka
around the kitchen floor..just for the fun of it.
A Time To Embrace
These are Home-Sweet-Home times: moments of reuniting...
at the end of a very long day, or at the end of
a long absence.
And A Time To Refrain From Embracing
There may be times when we purposefully distance
ourselves from each other; this can actually be a
necessary part of growing in love. Not only do we
need times of solitude for personal reflection, but
it's often in the lonely times that God reminds us
why we need each other after all.
A Time To Keep
There are special moments in marriage we want to
freeze in time, to treasure in the memory banks of
our minds, such as the births of our children,
anniversaries, walks by the sea, precious moments forever in mind.
A Time To Throw Away
Then, there are those memories we need to toss.
We all have to periodically toss the garbage of
grudges held too long into the bin of forgiveness.
A Time To Be Silent
There are special times of coming together when we
forgo our own agendas and, instead, focus on our mates'...
listening without judgment, without hurrying.
This means listening below the surface of words for
the feelings underneath. Giving our spouses our attention
is a rare and precious treasure.
A Time To Speak
Then comes the time to speak up. Yes, sometimes we
have to speak in confrontation. But more often
may it be phrases such as, "I love you," "I'm sorry"
or "You're precious to me" that leave our lips and
enter into our loved ones' ears.
A Time For War
There will be fights and disagreements in marriages,
so we don't need to be terrified when they come.
Though painful, arguments can also clear the air of
pentup pains. To disagree and argue is part of
what it means to be human.
A Time For Peace
Would we really appreciate "peacetime" if we hadn't
survived a few marital battles? Ah...peace.
A season to savor. Just as spring follows winter,
so often the most enjoyable seasons of marriage come
after times of bitter coldness. That's why it's
important to remember that one season does
not a marriage make. Hang on through the winter,
for things have a way of blossoming again. And
so do husbands and wives.
Becky Freeman
Home Life
Copyright © 2004
LivingFaith
All Rights Reserved
